Bamboo
Saucer
aka Collision
Course.
Directed by Frank Telford.
Here's
a very precise plot description of BAMBOO
SAUCER (1968) taken from IMDB.com user
DCorr123: "A team of American scientists,
under the leadership of a military man, go to
Red China to investigate the report of a downed
flying saucer. They encounter a similar Russian
team with the same object. The two are forced
into an uncomfortable alliance to avoid the Chinese
army. They find the saucer in the ruins of a church;
the local villagers hate the government for killing
the priest. They work together to figure out how
the saucer works. In the end, as most of the expedition
dies fighting off Chinese troops, three of them
make their escape in the saucer. In keeping with
the "lets end the cold war" spirit of
 the
film, they agree to take the saucer to a neutral
site, Switzerland. The script and the acting are
rather wooden but the movie makes an honest attempt
at believable science fiction."
The film stars Dan Duryea in his last theatrical
credit. Though in the decline of his thirty-year
long career, it is all too easy to forget Mr.
Duryea started out working with the likes of Fritz
Lang, Howard Howards and Anthony Mann, some of
the greatest
directors in the narrative medium's history.
And then there's the venerable Bernard Fox, who
has the notable distinction of appearing in not
one but two different versions of the Titanic
tragedy when rendered and they're the two very
best: A NIGHT TO REMEMBER and Cameron's TITANC!
Behind the scenes talent is no less impressive.
For example, noted Hollywood efx legend John Fulton
-- the guy who played the part of God and helped
Moses part the Red Sea blue screen waters in THE
TEN COMMANDMENTS, no  less
-- is credited in part with the storyline. Producer
Jerry Fairbanks made his debut producing the highly-influential
POPULAR SCIENCE film shorts based on the print
mag of the namesake, which is why this flick may
have such a dry approach to the subject matter.
In effect, BAMBOO
SAUCER resembles
a low-budget version of ICE STATION ZEBRA, but
with a downed flying saucer substituting for the
missing satellites. Otherwise, it has many of
the same Cold War tensions.
--
Notes by Traverse Walton.
What
Other Critics Say:
"The
UFO: it looks pretty cool on both the outside
and inside. The blue glowing effect is effective
at making this low budget UFO look better than
it might otherwise. Also the ship reacting with
the characters is a very nice touch. John P. Fulton
and Glen Robinson provided the film's special
effects."
-- SCIFILM |
top
|
 Barn
of the Blood Llama
Starring Kirk Hunter. Special
cameo by Clive Barker. Directed by Kevin L. West
.
At
long last, one of "the "truly good bad movies" (Skip Griffith,
SALT FOR SLUGS) BARN OF THE BLOOD LLAMA (1999)
is reviewed!
The storyline is heavily influenced by those great old 70's
era drive-in classics such as BLOOD FREAK, complete with bad
dubbing into English! The wild, multi-shifting production
formats give it a feel Oliver Stone only dreamed of achieving
in NATURAL BORN KILLERS.
It's a deconstructed horror flick that feels like a Burroughsian
filmic cut-up, as if the drive-in projectionist had somehow
threaded up the wrong reels of several different movies and
yet you're so content with the retro bliss of it all, you
don't mind at all. The electric cowboy acid soundtrack rendered
by some mighty finely talented Austin music locals is also
very powerful in raw, hum-along energy.
Gr ab
a bag of pork rinds and barricade yourself behind your favorite
monitor with rock star Bock, his Bunuel shapeshifting bevy
of white trash beauties, the in-bred Woolgrow Brothers, and
all the other outrageous
psycho-mutant crackers whose constant idiocy leave you to
philosophically muse aloud: what's truly more frightening
-- blood-sucking llamas or brain dead humans?
So
wake up, ignorant rednecks everywhere, and prepare yourselves
before it is Too Late: it's all out war between genetically-enhanced
killer llamas and genetically-challenged human beings in a
rural siege for survival! With cameos by sf/fantasy writer
C.K. McFarland and Clive Barker.
-- Notes by Hal E. Luah.
What
Other Critics Say:
"They make the weirdest movies in Texas. Much
like Monty Python... a fine video party tape, even if you're
not from Texas. P-Factor: blood; heads roll; psycho doctor;
kung fu; rabid killer llamas; mad lab; explosion; dung-gun
fu; p-star Barker." -- Michael
Weldon, PSYCHOTRONIC
"This home grown messterpiece hails from Austin, Texas
and is the brain damaged love child of filmmaker
Kevin West. Shot on over a half a dozen different kinds of
film stock and dubbed in  english,
BARN OF THE BLOOD LLAMA is one those rare
examples of planned ineptitude that is actually funny and
entertaining. The bizarre, almost undescribable plot revolves
around a wacky bunch of characters that include; a washed
up rock star hitchhiker, cheap fast food tramps, inbred moronic
crippled Texas hillbillies, a bestiality lovin' animal doctor,
a dyke- like bowling team, a pretty young heroine and of course,
blood thirsty cud spitting llamas. Are you ready to run out
and rent this damn thing
yet?" -- SECRET SCROLL DIGEST
"This movie gave me a headache, blurred my vision, and
confused me to the brink of sobbing. I loved every minute.
Viva la BLOOD LLAMA! 5 (out of 5)."
-- Brother Fistula, BROTHERHOOD REVIEWS
"The most insane, strange, unfollowable, gibberatic piece
of film that I've EVER heard of, let alone seen... despite
this, the movie has changed my entire perspective of reality.
Wow. Just to make sure you know, I'm giving this movie a 5
(out
of 5)." -- Brother Ferox, BROTHERHOOD
REVIEWS
"This movie rules... I love this movie. David Lynch couldn't
follow the plot. My hat is off to the men and women who have
made this... 5 (out of 5) all the way." -- Brother Ragnarok,
BROTHERHOOD
REVIEWS |
Beat
Girl
Directed by Edmond
T. Gréville.
Banned for many years in its native England, BEAT
GIRL (1960) is an interesting example of
the exploitation movie turning mainstream. That
is, it has the elements of classic 'exploitation'
films-- a good girl gone bad, moralizing, implied
venality, violence, etc.
Yet, despite its relatively low budget, the production
values and intellectual energy are far above those
of the average 'sploiter. BEAT
GIRL is a stylishly
shot, carefully crafted depiction of the emerging
youth rebellion in  Britain,
subverting middle class mores and values, yet clear
on the dangers towards which that path leads.
The film stars Adam Faith, a big deal rock star
back then, and also the absolutely luscious Bardoesque
Gillian Hills, who would later appear in BLOW UP.
To class the fare up a bit, Christopher Lee plays
the sleazy
strip club owner (oh, yeah, did we mention that
BEAT
GIRL's
'mom' was once a French stripper, and that Beat
herself gets down to her undies in public to get
back at Mom and Dad?) and we also get an early appearance
by Oliver Reed.
Final note: the film's composer, John Barry, would
later pen the James Bond theme!
-- Notes by J.L. Bate.
What
Other Critics Say:
 "Terrific
British juvenile delinquent trash, filmed with a
grimy, tough-as-nails energy
that puts comparable
U.S. teen angst flicks to shame. This rebellious
gem perfectly captures the swinging Beat milieu.
Without question, one of the coolest, dingiest flicks
ever made about the London scene." -- Steve
Puchalski, SHOCK CINEMA
"A hot British teen movie with beatniks, strippers,
murder, and music."-- PSYCHOTRONIC
Like this flick? See also:
GROUPIE
GIRL;
THE
WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD.
|
top
|
Big
Switch, The
Starring Sebastian Breaks & Virginia Wetherell.
Written & Directed by Pete Walker.
British
director Pete Walker is most notably remembered
for his output of shock sleaze epics in the 1970's
with such luridly terrific titles as HOUSE OF WHIPCORD,
DIE SCREAMING MARRIANE, SCHIZO and HOUSE OF MORTAL
SIN. But this earlier work made before Walker delved
into horror as modus operandi is very
amusing in a wry, Austin Powers kind of way. In
fact, THE BIG SWITCH (1969) is
the serious flick that the later Mike Meyers movies
are so deftly parodying (though one could argue
the director is accomplishing the same task herein,
albeit not as on-the-nose).
Our 'hero' is one John Carter -- not the Warlord
of Mars but the Studgod of London -- who is played
with a condescending sneer for each easy "chickie"
he beds by the insufferably snide Sebastian Breaks.
There is no woman who can resist his cheapjack cockiness
and handsomely cruel features. When we first meet
John, in fact, he's cruising a late-night disco
in search of a quick one before heading home for
the evening. When the cocktail waitress offers to
introduce him to a newbie whose just "made
the scene" in a hot mini-dress, Carter glares
at her and sneers, "You must be joking!"
That's Carter's philosophy in a nutshell. To him,
everything is a joke. The hippies, the psychedelic
lights, the music... all just a pretext to bed some
younger quim, in his lingo. He's only there to take
and not give. In this sense, he's like the British
cousin of Mike Hammer's Mickey Spillane, especially
as portrayed by Ralph Meeker in the classic KISS
ME DEADLY -- self-interested, narcissistic and a
careless 'user' of people for his own gain and amusement.
Instead of running a private eye racket, Carter
takes pantily-clad pictures of models for products
and producers willing to 'push' the edge to sell
their wares. It's a scummy way to make a living
and Carter knows it. He doesn't pretend it's art;
rather, he shamelessly calls it as it is, a way
to pay his slimy lifestyle's large bills (it ain't
cheap being a cad in an imported sportscar, evidently).
Soon enough, however, Carter finds himself in a
jam he can't sleaze his way out of with lies and
hush money. Caught up in a web of murder in which
he's a natural suspect ("You must
be joking!"), Carter is forced to play along
at his own game of exploitative photography when
blackmailers hold him and a party girl at gunpoint.
They're but helpless albeit naked pawns for dirty
pictures to be used in an later low-life extortion
scheme. The particulars aren't important; rather,
the sense of overwhelming dread that hangs over
the picture is what makes it 'work' for its duration.
If
you're into anti-heroes and film noir, you owe it
to yourself to take THE BIG SWITCH
for a
test drive. Complete with fast women, psycho villains,
sadistic beatings ala RESERVOIR DOGS in long, squeamish
takes, and choice European locales, THE
BIG SWITCH is a welcome 'switch' from the
overly slick noirs of today.
Underproduced in comparison to modern fare, it nonetheless
succeeds because it defies the formula in the short
run while always staying true to it in the long.
There is nothing new in the plot or characters,
in short, but like the later THE LONG GOOD FRIDAY,
this flick gives a 'kitchen sink' realism feel to
what would otherwise be standard material. In the
process, THE BIG SWITCH entertains
even if it occasionally plods.
While Walker would go one to the aforementioned
horror projects for better renowned as a cult director,
it's also worth noting he was the director for the
incomplete Sex Pistols documentary entitled A STAR
IS DEAD. Aptly if pre cognitively titled, the flick
was abandoned after the Pistols broke up and with
the o.d. of Sid Vicious, still sitting on Malcolm
McLaren's shelf somewhere..?
--
Notes by Sir Eaton Hogge.
What
Other Critics Say:
"His films
often featured sadistic authority figures, such
as priests or judges, punishing anyone (usually
young women) who doesn't conform to their strict
personal moral codes. He has denied there being
any political subtext to his films. However, HOUSE
OF WHIPCORD was dedicated to '...those who are disturbed
by today's lax moral codes and who eagerly await
the return of corporal and capital punishment,'
suggesting Walker isn't entirely unsympathetic towards
his villains." -- WIKIPEDIA
Like this flick? See also:
GROUPIE
GIRL;
THE
WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD. |
top
|
Starring
Grover Krantz. Directed by Lawrence Crowley.
When
one peers back into the crystal ball of the early 70's cinema,
the results are so staggering for sheer quantity and quality
of output as opposed to today's less than visionary efforts
it makes one wonder if there is indeed any future in a medium
now over a century old (save for admittedly well-off profiteers).
Thankfully, there are flix like BIGFOOT MANY OR BEAST?
(1971) to remind you that in every so-called "golden
era," there are still a plethora of lesser nuggets that
pan out to be nothing more than shiny pieces of fool's gold.
And if ever a metaphor applied, then BIGFOOT MAN OR
BEAST? is a literal motherload of golden pyrite.
The
"cast" (excuse the pun) of BIGFOOT MAN OR
BEAST? is perhaps the most impressive ever assembled
for a Bigfoot doc. There are not only the resident experts
on hand like John Green,
Rene Dahinden
and Dr. Grover Krantz, but also bona fide rare clips of mythic
figures who actually encountered Bigfoot and lived to tell
about it.
These are not
just tales from the dark side of the trailer, they're
also priceless and in many cases the only footage of key Sasquatch
"Early Encountees," many of whom literally introduced
the term "Bigfoot" and "Sasquatch" to
the American public in the 1950's in such sensational men's
mags as ARGOSY, not to mention headlines shared with flying
saucer sightings. See and hear the folks who told the tales
of abduction that made later R. Crumb parody comix like Female
Sasquatch possible!
There's a lot to like and dislike in BIGFOOT MAN OR
BEAST? That is of course it's enduring charm. But
if you are 'into' Squatch or just want to see a prime example
of the kind of flick you used to rush to see as a child of
the 70's, then this is a 'must see' for fond memories recalled.
For me, the entire experience was worthwhile for the opening
logo of the "American National Enterprises" opening,
in which an Eagle swoops down into a menacing close-up as
the stirring music plays beneath -- no wimpy white letters
on black b.g. here!
Like that opening, BIGFOOT MAN OR BEAST?
is never really serious at being skeptical (note the issue
in the title is not whether or not the critter is real, but
whether or not it is a man, per se, or a beast, both of which
exist). But why on earth would you want to watch a Squatch
flick from this era that wasn't wholeheartedly "True"?
;) --
Notes by Harry Derriere.
What
Other Critics Say:
"This
was a great film if it was 20 years ago and about four in
the morning and you had a hand rolled cigarette and a couple
of glasses of wine and it came on the only station broadcasting
all night in your area... They'd play the star spangled banner,
show some Air Force jets flying through the Grand Canyon and
then suddenly a major network tv station shut off and you
got a test pattern and a a four hour high pitched beep...
By all means, watch this film if it  ever
comes on TV, but not if you're sober." -- Mike
Donovan, IMDB.com
"Robert
Morgan baby! Looks like Loomis from HALLOWEEN... he cries
along with his hippie entourage... for the most part its groovy
guys in groovy clothes looking for Bigfoot." --
CHESNEY'S SILLY BIGFOOT COLLECTION
"A great nostalgia trip to the 70's, especially if, like
me, you have a fondness for 70's paranormal programs... [shot
in] Bigfoot country (in the shadow of pre-volcano-blasted
Mount St. Helens). I just love it, it takes me back to my
70's childhood, when Bigfoot, UFO's and other topics were
really getting a foothold into popular culture." -- MacReady,
IMDB.com
Like this flick? See also:
CREATURE
FROM BLACK LAKE;
MYSTERIOUS MONSTERS;
SASQUATCH
THE LEGEND OF BIGFOOT
|
top
Black
Cat Mansion
aka
Borei Kaibyo Yashiki. Starring Toshio Hosokawa,
Yuriko Ejima & Keinosuke Wada. Directed by Nobuo Nakagawa.
Americans may not recognize the name, but Nobuo Nakagawa is
one of the most revered directors in Japan, and has been for
decades... for far more than his work on tv's ULTRAMAN and
PLAYGIRL episodes. Patrick Macias (in TOKYOSCOPE) is convinced
that his "influence on the development of Japanese horror
films is so enormous it's scary."
He was at the helm for, arguably, the finest rendition of
Yotsua Kaidan, 1959's THE GHOST OF YOTSUA, about which Patrick
Macias notes that "Nakagawa has taken the traditional
Yotsua Kaidan and the Japanese horror film, with its origins
in kabuki and silent film, into a new cinematic realm. From
here on out, anything was possible," and his films "always
seemed to have an extra touch of class."
BLACK CAT MANSION (1958), aka Mansion
of the Ghost Cat, stands as more or less a  warm-up
to his two feature-length masterpieces, the aforementioned
YOTSUA KAIDAN and JIGOKU aka Hell. The story concerns a murderous
samurai's victim getting revenge against the dead sumarai's
descendents, in this case a young Doctor and his wife.
BLACK CAT MANSION is meticulously-paced,
hideously well-shot, flawlessly-crafted; it is short on gore,
yet creepy, and long on a beautiful depiction of dark 'old-world'
forces infiltrating contemporary society. The past doesn't
die until put properly to rest and, until in a sense, the
stake is driven through its heart, the ghosts and curses and
evil perpetrated by prior generations haunts and hurts and
kills even the most blameless, innocent and promising.
The film's structure is told with a framing device, in black
and white, set in modern times, and acted in a naturalistic
manner, and the much longer mid-section, in color, set in
a traditional 'samurai' past, and acted in a more kabuki style.
BLACK CAT MANSION gains power via the juxtaposition
of a depiction of the ills of cruel tradition carried to vile
extremes and the very modern technique of the depiction, as
Nakagawa experiments with the use of color, lighting, and
and sometimes jolting camera work.
Some of BLACK CAT's imagery is so weird it
feels lifted from CHINESE GHOST STORY rather than a flick
over 40 years old! Particularly frightening and memorably
creepy is the flick's black cat demon herself, whose lupine-like
transformation into marauding, shaggy beast reminds far more
of a Western werewolf than something Asian. Hence the flick's
true, enduring universality despite being specific to one
culture: BLACK CAT MANSION truly transcends
the limits because it tells its sad, rather Poe-like tale
of haunted generations straightforwardly but with unexpectedly
shocking intensity.
--
Notes by Sam U. Rye.
What
Other Critics Say:
"One
of many Japanese 'ghost cat' films... remarkable for its sinuous
camera movements and creepy episodes." -- Roger Keightley,
ENCYCLOPEDIA OF FANTASTIC FILM & T.V.
"A lush mood poem whose visual beauty is more haunting
than the ghosts who traverse it... Nakagawa's radical construction
of a world of sharp angles, painful overhead crane shots,
and lurking emptiness open up new possibilities technical
and aesthetic for each genre he transformed." --
THE CENTER FOR JAPANESE STUDIES |
Bog
Starring Gloria
DeHaven & Aldo Ray. Directed by Don Keeslar.
Where cine swamp monsters are concerned, there is the Good
(CREATURE
FROM BLACK LAKE), the Bad (SWAMP THING), and
the Ugly (SWAMP OF THE LOST MONSTER). And then there's
BOG (1976), a flick so obscure that only true swamp monster
compleatists even know of its existance. In this case, obscurity
may well be deserved for all but the most non-discriminating
fans.
What is it about such a flick that begs the question upon
viewing: "What the hell were they thinking?" It's actually
more like two flix that have been spliced together, one pretty
good and one, well, that drags the bottom of the murky bog
itself and only rarely comes up with a solid moment of genuine
entertainment.
The cast is impressive in depth of star names. First, there's
Aldo Ray, cult actor par excellence, teamed with Gloria
DeHaven in not one but two roles ala Peter Sellers! Strangely
and at once sadly, she's good in both performances. Topping
off the 'all-star' cast includes Marshall Thompson and Leo
Gordon. Wow, in a genre where typically only one old has-been
is trotted out to make the flick saleable, having four seasoned
thesps is truly a luxury.
Alas,
the director is unable to bring it into any kind of narrative
cohesion, so most of the talent is wasted. From
the results at  hand,
this was the probable state of their minds while waiting for
the next take on the set of this boggy nightmare. Sure, there's
a plot, by why put you through it, as you've seen it before
and much better and more understandably presented? If you
find any of BOG a narrative surprise, please seek immediate
treatment, as you may have undetected brain damage.
In the end, only die-hard lovers of swamp monster flix can
truly appreciate the sublime qualities of an otherwise endless
effort like BOG. Like a fine Cajun dish that's been
so watered down it no longer tastes even like food, BOG
uses all the familiar ingredients but still bakes a turd.
As a video party tape, you and your monster lovin' buddies
may find new lows of communal amusement. --
Notes by Jack Morax.
What
Other Critics Say:
"Creature
from the Blechh Lagoon." -- VIDEO CHEESE
"Aldo Ray looks like he wonders what the hell happened to
his career." -- THE BAD MOVIE REPORT
Like this flick? See also:
CREATURE
FROM BLACK LAKE;
MYSTERIOUS MONSTERS;
SASQUATCH
THE LEGEND OF BIGFOOT |
|
Reviews:
B
View
All Titles 
/ Reviews:
B
